Finding Octavia.
As someone who claims to be a writer I'm self-concious about the authors and books haven't read. In high school we were steered towards the likes of Romeo and Juliet, To Kill a Mocking Bird, and A Streetcar Named Desire. My favorite book from those years was Things Fall Apart which I stole from the school library.
My mother would routinely leave books on my bed. I owe my joy for Nikki Giovanni, James Baldwin, and Ralph Ellison to her.
My stint in college didn't bring much in the way of literature. I discovered my father's trove of Donald Goines books. I loved everything about them they were fun in a way I hadn't known books to be since I discovered choose your own adventure books in the third grade.
Add to all of this my years of poor eyesight which resulted in a cornea replacement and cataract surgery and undiagnosed ADHD, I spent years not reading much at all.
At my big age the question "Have you read...", makes me feel like I missed some sort of required reading, or worse, lacked the wherewithal, to land on these books of my own accord.
So I have been trying to chip away at the infinite number of books that I imagine I should have read over the years. Sidenote...
YES, THIS INCLUDES AUDIOBOOKS. IDGAF ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT YOU THINK IT COUNTS. ACCESSIBILITY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR JUDGEMENT.
Anywho, I just got done with Parable of the Sower. Octavia Butler has long been on my list of authors I felt foolish about not having gotten around to reading.
I just finished Sky Full of Elephants before starting Parable. Having not read up on the plot of Parable I didn't expect there to be as many parallels as there were. If I were an english teacher I would have my students read them both for comparison.
As much as I enjoyed Elephants the ending left me wanting more. It was open ended in a way that felt like the writer ran out of breathe. Parable on the other hand was super satisfying all the way through.
I'm currently working on a project that could be called afrosurrelist, so reading books by Black authors who actively reimagine the world in ways that feel far flung and completely plausable at the same time has been eye opening.
In reading Parable the importance of the Black characters being Black feels paradoxical. Throughout the book I felt like their Blackness was both instrumental and inconsequential to the story. It took me until just now to realize where that duality comes from.
Reading Black characters outside of a "real" or historical space like Butler's afrofuturistic setting feels novel to me. Most, if not all of the Black fiction I have read has been grounded in present day reality or some historical space, often the burdensome tropes of being black in this world lay heavy on the story being told. While Parable doesn't avoid issues of race and issues of Blackness the story doesn't live there. It is part of the story. It's not the story.
The duality I experienced lies in loving seeing Black representaion in a genre that doesn't often know what to do with Black folks. I got to enjoy a book the way white folks get to enjoy books. Free of the need to translate the culture and sensibilities that lead characters to make the decisions they make.
It's like watching a horror movie and wondering why the white character is trying to track down the monster, why are they seeking the danger? Understanding that the Black analog would be trying to find safety and protection. We aren't going into the cave. We are getting in the car and driving home.
Reading Parable (and Elephants) there wasn't a decision made by the main character that I wouldn't have made, or at the very least, been able to justify if pressed. I never found myself taken out of the story because I was for all intents and purposes in the story.
I will move onto Parable of the Talents sometime soon. I need more time to digest Sower.
I'm so glad at my big age to have the time and space to work back on the books that eluded me over the years. That said there is a small part that mourns young Shane and how these books might have enhanced and launched his love of reading and writing even further than they are now.
I began the process of dropping books on my son's bed this past summer. The book I chose was a miss, mainly because I shot past his age and interests. I'm realizing now how good my mother was at curating the books she gifted me. Someday Sower will be in the mix. It's a day I greatly look forward to.
